Archive for March, 2011

March 31, 2011

The Versatile Blogger!

by Khanum

My very first BLOGGER AWARD  from Dear Tien !



A pleasant honor bestowed upon me and Oh my Allah!…. I cannot believe I have come this far so as to get an award. I happily Accept it and would like to make a short speech to let my readers know how  grateful I am for recieving my ‘Versatile Blogger’  trophy!



And Thank you very much. that’s all for tonite ! 😀  Happy Blogging!!!


March 21, 2011

Fire Exit – University se bichar kar haqeeqat khuli Faraz, duniya bohat haseen hai magar University ke saath

by Khanum

“Are You Single?” …”Ah…I wish”.

“Are YOU married?”  “Yes…”

“Hey, are you engaged?” …”Uh – well its complicated. ”

….”And hey what about you? Any chances of making us happy?” ….

“well, No. Not yet. I like being single” 🙂

Hmmmm… “So who misses University days?”

And they all Hail in Union. “AH … I MISS IT ALOT!”


Who doesnt, han? 🙂 I mean, I know we wanted to get out of their like prisoners wish to escape hell, But friends, who knew we would miss that jail on the Jail road later on?  I know why- Because they were the best days of our lives.

Same old class mates, same old ways…same old questions, but now when you bump into them so randomly at your Facebook . you realize, Their way of looking at life is now entirely different.

To begin with – they take life more seriously now. or should I put it bluntly. Life has put them under serious radar. 🙂

2: The family drama is no longer avoidable. University is no longer there to provide emergency escape. You can’t tell your parents, “Oh well – i have this very urgent assignement you see. I have to finish it by midnight – so if you please can excuse me from this family counselling.”

Nor Can you emotional blackmail them. “That’s it. I’m quitting studies. See – you have totally ruined my concentration , now I can’t study with all of your marriage nonsense , Mother. puhleese”

3. Most importantly, You have simply no excuse or reason to enter yourself in STUDENT competitions. Which pisses me off very frequently now. its like all the organizations decided to hold competitions right at the time when I passed out from my university. Dammit.

You can’t hangout alot, You can’t bunk on your family issues, You can’t call yourself a Student, and worse you feel this constant force to earn good for the sake of — well, whatever the reasons maybe.

Its different story for everyone BUT  with the same result. We all wish to go back to university and relive those days.

I Think, my friend. It wouldn’t be wrong to say… University was our “Fire exit”. If so… Then what a mind-boggling  fire exit it was.

March 15, 2011

No Children of Heaven. Just a Graduate

by Khanum

The feeling is mutual. That’s what my friend said when I revealed to her my latest thoughts on ‘Post Grad Syndrome.’

Chirography, I would say,  is the mirror of our mind. Now please, Re-read the line for my sake. I said Chirography, not choreography.

You can easily read a person’s mental state by having a look at his handwriting. If the alphabets he writes down look wrecked –  Oh boy! He’s definitely not right mentally. A depression may define his state. And if the words look like flowers on the paper sheet. It’s a clear sign of his mental healthiness.

But what has it got to do with my shoe snap above?

Well, I have my own theory on identifying a Graduate with Post Grad Syndrome. It’s not by his hand writing that you find his depression – The story of his despair is found when You look at his Shoe.

If they are wrecked. Torn – faded – reminding you of some Iranian Movie ‘Children Of Heaven’ ,  — BINGO!!! You have just spotted a poor jobless  grad !

And in this case, me and my friend were the victims. It was just another job hunt day for us, and we were so full of high hopes and enthusiasm, even though we stomped on swollen foot and it was really like marching by the valley of despair but yet, we  hummed  the ever green ‘rock you’ tune in earnest , just to have a good background music.

So just like that, I looked down at my feet while walking. I knew something was wrong . My feet felt wet all of a sudden. I looked down – inspected my shoes and Berra ghark! My long time buddy shoes were now slightly torn because of the constant hectic walk. And because it had been raning earlier that day , I had been a victim of water leak in my shoe. Berra Ghark again!

Now if it had been some other day I would have expressed disgust over this – but that day – It seemed like I was a Graduate of Heaven.

‘Look at this’ I extended my left foot , ‘Its official now, we’re the children of Heaven. Majid Majidi should do a remake version of His movie, casting us.’ , I muttered to my friend Faiza, laughing all the way. She looked at me , then at my shoe and then back at me.’  L-O-L . ‘ was her expression.

We think, It was the best day of our job hunt adventure. As every time We both  look at this picture , We can’t help reminiscing. I’m a freelancer now, she’s a office woman. And Majid Majidi is still in Iran – oblivious of our remake version . 😛

So What’s yours  Post grad Syndrome memory?

March 13, 2011

Dear God

by Khanum

I write to you because I feel this need, to mention what things worry me in my life. A life which was given by you. A life in which I had no say when you deported me to this world.

There are times, when i am lost. When I have no hope left inside of me for things I want to achieve in this short existence.  I cry, I shed tears because I feel so lost that I don’t even want to call it ‘my life’ anymore. I name it as ‘Yours.’

And then suddenly, the pain seems to slow down a little. It agrees to stay on hold for awhile. I don’t know how it happens so fast , Dear God – but it does.

the moment I name it Yours, I’m relieved of my pains.

Is this a sign that in your eyes, I’m accepted ? I’m loved ?

I will say no more then. I have found my true Home.

Yours Forever,


March 12, 2011

My Mind-bogglingly Giggly Tales!

by Khanum

First Wisdom

The Great Baba and the Three Brothers

Once, three imprudent brothers were embarked on a journey. But before they left their home, their old wise mother gave them a piece of advice.

‘Go straight to your business my sons. No matter who prince of Persia you meet on the way, you are not to stop.’

Her three irresponsible sons took that advice and got on their voyage. After three days, when passing by the forest they came across an old man, who sat under the shadow of an old enormous tree, completely in silence. He had long white hair; a beard and the only piece of clothe covering his lower body.

They at once recognized him to be a Guru; lost in worship and decided to stay.

“I think, my dear brothers, he is a wise righteous man of God, probably meditating here in silence. I say we must stay here and ask him to teach us few wisdoms.” said the First brother and they all sat before him.

The old man opened his eyes and found three of them staring at him.

“Who are you?” asked the old man

“Baba! They are my brothers and we all are merchants, going to another kingdom for trade.” One of the brothers replied

“Then why are you sitting here?”, the old man asked again

“We wish to learn from you, Baba. You are the possessor of great knowledge and saintly wisdom. Will you teach us some of the wise lessons and help us?” said the second brother and offered Baba fruits from his sack.

The old man stared at three of them very strangely and then after a long moment of consideration, decided to teach them only one lesson.

The brothers agreed upon it at once and happily offered the old man another sack of food they carried.

“Ah!”, said Baba, “I shall teach you one lesson only. But I am afraid you would neither have the courage to learn it nor patience.”

“Please, do trust us Baba. We will do everything to learn wisdom from you”, they pledged their sincerity.

“Very well, then. Go to the palace of the King and take as many as the finest fruits you can from the king’s garden.”

“But Baba, wouldn’t that be stealing?”, spoke the first one

“Yes, and the King’s men would cease us at once and throw us in the prison”, also interrupted the second.

“I told you, you would not have the patience to learn anything out of it.” The old man clapped his thigh and mumbled.

The brothers stared each other.

“What should we do next when we have taken the fruits?”

“You would then take the horse from one of the common villagers and ride on it. But remember, all three of you should ride on it together and circumambulate the palace seven times as slow as you can”

The brothers again looked confusingly at the old man but did not dare open their mouths for the fear of being dismissed.

“And then, lastly”, commanded the old man cheerfully, “You would give that horse back to its rightful owner and run to me on your feet, as hasty as you can. But before you head off to make this journey, you would have to put leave of your burdens here and travel devoid of any belongings.”

The brothers, who were desperate to learn anything from the man they believed could guide them spiritually, set off to the King’s palace without in the least delay and did faithfully as their Baba had said so.

When they had taken the finest fruits from the king’s garden, the soldiers came running after them and captured the first brother. The remaining two escaped from the garden and hid in the nearby barn of a villager. They stayed hidden there for several long hours and grieved for the lost of their Eldest brother. But when they had finally decided to go back to the palace and ask to the king for mercy, the youngest brother remembered the words of Baba, “you would neither have the courage to learn it nor patience”, and took the decision to go for the next mission.

They stole a brown stallion from that barn and headed towards the palace for seven times circumambulation. On learning of this theft, the owner of the horse ran after the brothers cursing them all the way and alerted the king’s soldiers. Soon, the whole kingdom had learnt of three brother’s actions and they were wanted by the Sultan.

Shortly, the angry villagers, Sultan’s soldiers and the grim horse owner chased after the brothers while they circumambulated the palace on a slow speed.

They had finished barely one round when the second brother fell from the brown stallion and was subsequently captured.

“Do not worry about me, brother. Save yourself and run quickly to wise Baba.” he cried after his youngest brother. “And return back with the great wisdom to free us from the prison. We shall tell it to the Sultan and he will surely fee us.”

The third brother hurried to the barn, left the horse there as the Baba had asked them to do and ran on his feet towards him. On the way back he became over excited to realize he had been successful among all the brothers to Perform the tasks the Baba had asked them to do. The odd jobs did brought with them pain and miseries, he thought, but I am sure the wisdom Baba meant by it would pay off the harm.

So he happily reached the tree Baba sat under in hope of learning a great wisdom, but there he found no one. He thought Baba must have been gone for a stroll but soon he noticed; the sacks they had left behind were also disappeared.

Except, there lay the small garment Baba covered his body with and in it, was wrapped a piece of paper, on which were written black words with charcoal.

“Beware! The old man is a former retarded Vizir. If found, please transport him to the Palace.”


“Use your common sense. Not every man sitting under the tree is a Virtuous soul.”


March 11, 2011

Shy & Lost

by Khanum

I’m insane, You’re drunk. Tell me who will lead us home?! …. pure words of wisdom , I learnt from Rumi. A great man who knew love has to be devastating. Whether for Lord or for a mere human. It has its melodramatic phases. Its strange levels. Levels that make one go happily nuts and sometimes broke.

I have this habit, re phrasing the phrases. Re-inventing the quotations. And when I try to connect these words to my life, when I make a quote out of Rumi’s lines from a poem contrasting my  existence. My own  dilemmas become more clear to me. And I begin to wonder how great Rumi was. The man spoke our lives in a poem. In a mere sufi poem.

“I’m shy , you are lost. Tell me who will lead us to our home?”

And then I ask myself. Have you found your Home yet ? Have you even found your own self ?

I don’t know. I may be the lost one here when I am actually also the shy. Which is why all my friends are always trying to make it up for my shyness. They simply start the I’m sure we all go through it at some point of our lives. It sucks. I think, it’s worse than being shy. But in several cultures, matchmaking is what leads one to his/her home. A home where only a handful stay happy while others simply live a miserable relation.  Risky , but Hey! Nobody can escape this thing.  A leap of faith we all must take in life.

And The thing with life is, nothing is certain.

You cannot plan your entire existence. If you do , fate will find a way to throw you off balance and make you understand what a low life you are. Then there would come a time when you will give up on planning and wait for things to go in the flow. And guess what ! fate will again throw you off balance and make you regret why you didn’t plan man!?

And I think same goes for finding a partner, with whom you can sail away , climb up the mountains without any worry because you know, Home is this way, with this person who is walking right with me. You come to a point to finally plan things. You do it with all your heart and again …. yes ! Fate. It may give you surprises. and those surprises are what I believe, Rumi was also well acquainted with. Who decides to walk with you, with whom YOU decide to walk and most importantly …how many earnestly and safely reach their home is what our lives revolve around.

Didn’t Adam ask for eve from God?  How beautiful it was what they shared. A marriage in heaven.

Then didn’t they both find each other again after being lost? How honest it was and pure, what they did for each other. It’s all very melodramatic and more melodramatic. I say the word twice because honestly I kan’t think of any other and more melodramatic adjective to describe the feeling . Adam was the height of gentleness and Eve…Our beloved eve the purest of all women. He knew his way with her and he made it to their home.

Either you’re a a man or a woman, You must know where you stand. Do you even know You’re the shy one or the lost stranger?. Because if You don’t Its my advice friend, Do find out yourself first before you expect other one to start searching for your soul.

Valetine’s Day did the trick for me.

And when I mention Valentine’s day – I meant The Movie.

I watched it tonight few hours ago and as I type this post – I am still smiling on the surprises I got from the movie. It spoke to me. And I am speaking to you now.

The characters were running frantically here and there , all looking for the perfect partner. All trying to figure out the way home on a huge day we call as Valentine’s. The deceits and lies and then pop ups surprises of honesty kept unfolding the plot further and further. My goodness,  Several love stories played in One big plot.  It should have bored me to death.

Instead , I fell in love with one tiny story among several. Story of Julia Roberts & Bradley Cooper. A poised graceful woman with a Sophisticated  (tie shie) gentleman. I immensely hoped a romance between the two and a honest relation. And it could have been possible. But hey! What did I say about surprises!? They didn’t end up together but yet I watched the whole movie only for them.

I did it, because I could relate to them. And I bet, even you would want to fall into such situation where you either met Julia or Bradley like person. Everything about the character of Bradley cooper was what every woman would want in a man. And every gesture, every graceful act of Julia robert’s  is what I believe ,a sincere man would look for in a woman.  But when I look around, I don’t see the kind of honesty which Adam shared with eve in people now a days. the kind of manners Bradley Cooper showed towards Julia Roberts in the movie. And it clicked me. He wasn’t Lost like most of the male society today is. He was a real Man!!! so what if he was shy. She wasn’t lost either, but merely a real Woman with reserved sense. And together they made the equation equals to  a state which could lead them home together if they chose to. No deceits involved, no lies. Just a step ahead and they could have a perfect life together.

It could have been possible yes, Only if the writer hadn’t choose to write Mr. Perfect Bradley as gay in the end.

And Julia, as a sad mother.

I would never forgive the writer for writing such a awesome story and ruin it with a hopeless end. Buy Hey! If you want to learn anything good out of it. Learn this. It’s okay to be shy. And its okay to be lost sometimes nobody is perfect. But  IT – IS – NOT – OKAY when you ruin yourself for eternity by being utterly shy and dangerously lost forever.

Adam and Eve set a beautiful example of  the most wonderful relation in the entire universe. He could have asked for a mother to Lord in the Heavens. But he didn’t. And even Lord could have given him a woman in the form of a mother but He didn’t. He blessed him with a wife instead.

And together, they walked home. Blissed.

Wouldn’t you want such a blessed romantic walk ? Honesty forever. Wouldn’t you ?

March 9, 2011

Her Heavenly Abode …

by Khanum


A letter to a friend far away

Sometimes to say good bye to someone you love is quite impossible. It is easy to say “see u later” instead.  But at a certain time in your life, there comes a moment when you have to face it.  You have to let go of someone you dearly loved whole your life. No matter how hard you pray, the wise men know there is simply no trade on death with God. As every soul shall have the taste of His decree. Such a bitter loss my friend, that has its shooting pain. I can only imagine as my time is yet to come, how painful it might have been for my friend, I can do nothing but only imagine.

If life is a book of colorful pages, I cherish its each color I shared with you. Colors of laughter love and joy….emotions I can never pen down. Such were the 20 young pages of my life with 85 of yours. Your companionship was indeed incomparable to any other object of the world. But holy wisdom lies in a calm surrender my friend; life is in fact no more than a brief existence, and we are sole travelers. It’s neither ours to give nor ours to take. Like a shell imprisoning the pearl. This body is a prison for the soul that demands to fly away one day, without any khalil, up onto the final abode. Where He has blessed: the Prophets, the foremost believers, martyrs and the righteous ones. So, today is a plain deal my friend, conditioned by death and remorse, tomorrow all the spirited ones leave the world at a constant loss.

Indeed sometimes to say goodbye to someone you love is quite impossible.

I know memories tend to fade away but they say heart retains its scars longer than any other part of the body. Along with the pleasant memories I hold in my heart, there are some regrets too that make me ache but make me love you more and more with each passing moon. Surely, I stand firm because of Him whose love is greater than our disappointments. It’s not easy my friend, but it’s His decree. I hear, I obey and surrender. So does every man.

You have gone away my friend. Your soul is free. But you’re still alive in my heart. I like to go back in time and remember old days, our offering juma prayer together in your favorite mosque, that white dress of yours and your beautiful emmbroided veil, a veil that sheltered me once from the sunrays, on our return to home.; your old kind eyes full of wisdom and your gentle calm face. The times you used to sit by my side whenever I was sick and pray with tears in your tender eyes. I still dream of your hands my friend, when I think of you, so soft like silk caressing my teary face.

Indeed sometimes to say goodbye to someone you love is quite impossible.

They say I am your reflection my friend, what a lie they tell. How could I possibly be pious as you? You were the height of righteousness while I ….Oh! How badly I wish, if I could turn the time back and end my grief. How badly I desire to right the wrongs of my yesterday, bring you back and sit next to you again. But Alas! Life is momentary and uncertain my friend, death is its part.

As patience is retained by the desert without rain, I shall have patience and remember you as my friend, O my beloved Nana. I shall pass your love to my children’s children. I shall walk on your footsteps and keep you alive in my heart. As time goes by, my memories will fade away but I shall always remember the one who caressed me and took my worries away. You and I belong to different worlds now but death is only a pause in this momentary life, a new life awaits. So when He will shower His rain upon me I shall meet you again. Until then I pray thee peace, my friend, whenever I kneel before Him in my prayer. I’ll grow older and older with each fleeting moment and memories will grow fainter so they say, but as long as my mortal heart will beat, I’ll keep in heart the day the angel of death took you to your heavenly abode…

Indeed sometimes to say good bye to someone you love is quite impossible.

But …We All belong to Allah my friend, to Him we return!

May Allah rest your soul in peace, my beloved Nana! I miss you. But One day, if Allah wills, we’ll surely meet.


Verily, Allah! Unto Him belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth, He gives life and He causes death. And besides Allah you have neither any Wali nor any helper.

Al Qur’an – Surah Taubah: 116

(In loving memory of my Nano… )