Archive for April, 2011

April 30, 2011

Sleepless Dead

by Khanum

The night seeps, slow but certain.

In the heart of those who think the dawn may never appear.

They yield, they wail. They crawl beneath the sands. Yet, nothing puts them at rest.

Their eyes have no curtains.
The Night seeps…slow …very slow my friend!

But certain.  

April 25, 2011

Let’s go to Egypt. Not.

by Khanum

It was my uncle’s idea to take me out and get some fresh air into my fever struck lungs. I, as usual, ready to photograph anything found this excuse useful, armed myself with my photography camera and jumped at the back seat of his car!

We were on our way to Visit a housing Society – a business very crucial – known as Bahria Town.

We stopped by to see the safari villas. 8 Marla house worth 70 Lakh rupees. It was a total luxurious beauty. Light surrounding the house from every corner and I felt My pictures couldn’t do justice to it.

The moment we entered the model house and the moment we stepped out from that place, It was a sure thing we are going to buy it.

few more paces, 1 kilometer away , the determination got a bit shakier. Bahria town is like a giant city within a city. My uncle suddenly started to think about the flaws of  such a far away residence from we currently reside.

“Who would come to visit us here, hain ji?’

Aliens!  I replied. And perhaps the ghost of my Dead grandmother. May Allah rest her soul in peace. God knows she loved our Hearne street Bungalow more than any house in the whole world. So moving here in Bahria Town could mean a serious upset for Nano jaan.

We roamed the place on car and then I finally got to see the place I had heard about.


Egyptian Style Bahria Town! A modern day housing society based on the architecture of Egypt’s oldest civilization. They have all the deities and their statues built at the big entrance gates . We wanted to go in and peek into the Villas but they were closed for maintenance reasons. And construction reasons and God knows what more reasons the person told us.

One Villa with a statue like that worth 4-5 crore.  Which made it clear. They had jewels plastered all over its walls. Hence no entry before u actually buy one.


Who would buy it anyway? Pharaoh’s lover.

I regret I couldn’t take more decent pictures. the ones I managed were all taken from inside the car. That too with the whining sounds and sighs of my family.   They had read some stupid sign saying ‘No Photography Allowed’  so i was forbidden to step out of the car. Such chicken behavior ticks me off.

You see? Statues every where! Are you getting what i’m saying?

Pharaoh’s lover, exactly!

It took us about 4-5 hours to get to see only the half of that Giant city within a city. Plus an hour or two the endless discussion with the property dealer. Only If I hadn’t been lured into photography trip, I wouldn’t have gone there in the first place. Too much of polytheism around for the sake of earning Money was making me more sick. But then, I really don’t have that much money to go to Nefertiti’s tomb and see the first hand statues so it was a good opportunity to see ‘Mini Egypt’.

Any lesson learnt?

Yes ofcourse!

‘Home sweet Home’ phrase wasn’t invented just like that. The moment we hit the big ‘Statue free’  Iron gate of our street, I couldn’t Thank enough My Lord for the luxuries I had been enjoying there for the past 22 years.

And the moment I stepped into my square, messy, filled with computer wires room. I knew I had every possible comfort right here. Perfection under limited resources. El Hamdulillah!

It’s not where you live, but how you live and with whom. 🙂

You may  Click Here to see the Egyptian Style Bahria Town’s photographs by Wikipedia. More detailed ones.

April 18, 2011

You’re as crack as me, together we can open a mental asylum!

by Khanum

Okay!!! I am very excited about this post Because Insha Allah, this time I’m hopeful  I’ll’ make it to the PUBLISH button and not the Save draft thing.

The idea of this post popped up in my brain while surfing Facebook. HAPPY MUSLIM HUSBAND & WIFE page is a very good and positive link for people who are either married or interested in sincere and Halal relationships.

Today, this page came up with a new status update:

Lets do something special for our spouse today 🙂
please share some ideas 🙂

My immediate response was this:

sometimes we do so much but never sit with them to tell them how important they are, and at times it happens, we do all the talking, and no sincere actions. Just whateva you decide to do, please make sure you express love and be honest.

I thought I was the first one to respond on the status but oh boy! There came a flood of comments. someone suggesting a massage , another recommending ‘buy her a car’ joke. This comment was really too much and definitely a product of a sister’s imagination but anyway, A bother was quick enough to correct her by simply exposing his ‘are-you-kidding-me-woman?’ smile.Right after I made my comment , someone responded saying,  i don’t have a spouse 😥 i am not married . ANd this is when I realised, I’m a natural at this baby I’m a natural. LOL.

You see, Neither am I married nor engaged, but still i give people tips as if I know what marriage is. Does this make me a psychologist? Hell no, though It probably should but no – I am just Khanum.

I have this habit of re-phrasing the phrases ( I have mentioned this quite often) and then there’s another habit which I call as ‘Putting myself in my own  future shoes’. Now let me elaborate this one.

Few days earlier, Tien came up with a post on how fun it is to play pretend pretend. My latter habit is quite similar to that ‘pretending game’. As a kid I used to imagine myself as a doctor. then the imagination got louder and God knows what other professions I made fun of. We all have been there. Where once in awhile, we all imagine ourselves as the ‘other half’ of someone. There’s really no shame in admitting it. Rewind your memories and go back to the time when you played with your siblings or cousins. What was the most played game on sunday at home? Poker?

In my case it always was ‘Wedding wedding’ or either ‘tea party’.

I used to dress up as the host and welcome my ‘imaginary husband’s parents to my home’ 😛 LOL..mother in law played by my 3 years old cousin still in her diapers and father in law by my other cousin – another diapered bottom.

This used to be quite a lot of fun. And still, the things are quite the same . Only the need to have real time actors is not there. the diapered bottom cousin is all grown up. I can’t possibly ask her and him to play that game again SO what do I do?

I improvise.

And improvise for what?

For the sake of having a better understanding of my …… ‘Future shoes’.. 😀

I imagine myself in the shoe of a wife and try to see things from a different perspective. Sometimes, it’s me versus ‘him’ , at times it’s me versus ‘everything’, but the most favourite part is when it’s ‘us’ versus everyone else.

Its very easy, you should also try. If any friend tells you I’m having this non sense or that arguement or that thing is my new headache in marriage ,  simply think from your perspective and answer her/him. This exercise apart from the joke part gives quite a sense of how to deal with people in problematic situations and most importantly gives you insight on how YOU would  respond to your own chaos. Although we all pray we end up with a nice person a sincere one upon which we can rely anytime. But c’mon lets face it. Not everyone is an exceptional case. You may end up with a total weirdo. What would you do then? Alot of women do complain of this fact. They are not afraid of marriage but simply afraid of ending up with a wrong person.

What should be done? Improvisation my friend, compromise and improvise.

I laugh when laughing is required. And yet I am a very serious type of person that my family is actually quite confused about me. But when it comes to a marriage, I would say – It’s an amalgamation of both emotions. Make sure you return the equal amount of understanding yourself which you expect from him or her.

Someone once told me ‘Things are not always black or white. Between these two extremes there are many shades of grey.” I personally don’t think its the same for every thing and every situation. Sometimes the option is either black or white. Any other shade is what people depict. But now that I think about it. I think we can apply this wisdom to a marriage bond.

Things are really not always black or white in this relationship. the person may tell you , you’re a headache but it is a high possibility that he has become immune to this migraine. Yes YOU!

Suppose your spouse comes  home, some argument comes up and  says – just out of the blue – I hate you. How will you react?

Hurt. Shocked. poisonous in many cases.Cause seriously, it is quite a painful word to hear from your spouse.

But if you’re smart , you’ll improvise and react in the most opposite manner. Use your humour side, romantic side or whatever side you think is best to identify the problem.

Keyword : IDENTIFY.

If you ask me , my reply would be something like this.

“Hate is a very hateful word. Let’s simply erase this word from our marriage dictionary’.

I know I know its very cheesy. Wanna try another option?

Okay. Just say thanks instead. and if still not satisfied. Try the best ‘Hate you back with love’ technique.

‘You didn’t like your school either. But It did educate you in the end dear , so please have some faith in me!!!’


The next one is my favorite. I’m sure in near future there would come a time when My spouse would definitely tell me I am mad.

So I have already practised my line for that oscar moment.

Well  ‘You’re as crack as me. Together we can open a mental asylum. You can take care of me and I’ll do the same forever’!

I hope I have saved a marriage by this post. If not – at least I gave you all a good read and some hope for your marriage.

April 7, 2011

What’s Your EXCUSE?

by Khanum

I make it a rule for my posts , not to use images or material which is not owned by me. Therefore all the pictures that you guys have seen so far were my photography. However, This time I am willing to make an exception. An Exception to make you all aware of the commitment and Allegiance of  a Monotheist to His Lord.  Either You’re Muslim, Christian , A Hindu or a Jew. Just Look at these people, how punctual and sincere they are. Isn’t that enough of a lesson to learn?

See! Its not that hard to pray when you have the heart to kneel before Him.

Muslims who prefer sitting idle and skip prayers should feel motivated by these pictures. I didn’t make the effort to copy these here and put a post together just to humiliate you. It’s like a work of Art.  I reach to you – to help you reach Him. 🙂

The category who do pray 5 times a day but skip some of them should make a note of this and never miss their Salah ever again. Its our Allegiance to our Creator! My grandmother offered her last prayer on her death bed, and she could barely even breathe or move. She kept her Allegiance to Him even then. Now that’s real love.

And finally those who are already on the path of sincerity, and way ahead of me, Should feel proud of them and continue their routine. I salute you people!!!

theres simply no shame in stopping by and offering a prayer even while you are at a mall doing shopping or sitting at a wedding with your best clothes on. Either you’r travelling in a rikshaw, a car,  or just walking on foot. Be brave enough to stop your world for a minute or two and bow down to prayer.

For those who bow down to Him can stand up to anything in this world. !!!

“Oh you who believe! Seek help through patience and Salah. Truly, Allah is with those who are patient.” (2:153)

April 4, 2011

The~Awesomeness~Show! STREET ART FROM THE HEART!

by Khanum

YEAH! Yes! YUP!!


We were the kings and queens of awesomeness that day. Hectic it was… yet fun. Now I can proudly say, YES I DID something for Pakistan. 😀 I painted a wall in extreme heat on one fine sunday!!! Entering the SAC season 2 – Street Art Competition was simply about ART from the HEART!

By The way bloggers. This picasso thing was done  last month – I was just simply too lazy to press the adventure on word!!!! ! I still have paint on my nails though – Mom going ballistic every time she notices it. God! I looked like a cartoon on my return that day . Everyone at home cracked up so hard when I had returned. But what the hey! It was fun!

April 4, 2011

The Virtual Grave! Facebook Memorializing Service

by Khanum

I just came across a very strange thing on Facebook Tonight.  It was like the angel of death stood infont of me, Giving me a trailer or options  for  my future Facebook account.

Memorializing Service”

“When a user passes away, we memorialize their account to protect their privacy. Memorializing an account sets the account privacy so that only confirmed friends can see the profile or locate it in search. The Wall remains, so friends and family can leave posts in remembrance. Memorializing an account also prevents anyone from logging into the account.”

Okay, So That’s what They will do  with my virtual body after  I am dead – Shift my Facebook account to the social net workers’ cemetery and allow my friends to throw a flower or two on my grave once in awhile.

Berra Ghark!!!

I  read the content of the page further. I wanted to know how the memorializing is done. (Horrible Horrible and more Horrible)

The page read:

More curiosity, more tension.
Memorializing the account:
Please report this information here, so we can memorialize this person’s account. Memorializing the account restricts profile access to confirmed friends only. Please note that in order to protect the privacy of the deceased user, we cannot provide login information for the account to anyone.Removing the account:
Verified immediate family members may request the removal of a loved one’s account. This will completely remove the account from Facebook, so no one can view it. We will not restore the account or provide information on its content unless required by law. If you are requesting a removal and are not an immediate family member of the deceased, your request will not be processed. In this case, the account will be memorialized. 

If you are an immediate family member and would like to request that we remove your loved one’s account from the site, click here. You may also use this form if you have a special request regarding a deceased user’s account.”

I had instantly scrolled down further and read the whole paragraph for two major reasons.
First :  I realized few of the people in my list are very old. I may feel the need in future to report their account for memorializing  (In case they …u know what I mean ..) so I better know how to do it first.
Secondly : My Goodness! What If I pass away and people forget to report my account for memorializing? Out of sight out of mind. We have time for status updates these days, post videos, pass random comments on random pictures but hey! c’mon!   Its very hectic already. Who has time to stop by and notice if you’re freaking alive on facebook or not.
So I kept reading it and reading it – and the more I read the more depression it gave me.
It made me think of only  one thing. If I don’t better set an appointment or some settlement with facebook  in advance today that could notify them of my last breath, the moment I say my last Allah hu Akbar, If I don’t do this now – Tomorrow I would have  my FB deadbody swimming around in this virtual pool, floating  here and there, appearing up in SUGGESTIONS corner. Lurking like a ghost.
Berra Ghark!!! I don’t want that. Nobody would want that even for the real burial. Imagine for once you are dead in real, and nobody is bothering to dig up your grave and bury you ? Nobody is willing to spend on your Kaffan and give you the last bath. Or worse, they don’t know how to do it right.  It would be a one horrifying sight.
Ha Ha and Horrible !
The fun part was over for me.  A worry more natural and basic sometimes come to us shrouded in a comical attire.
I immediately typed ‘Quran on Burial’ on google  and several pages showed up – and that was not my first time for such research but a second attempt to dig deeper. The last time I was worried over right burial procedure of a Muslimah was when my grandmother had died. Some said this, others said that and May Allah forgive us, none of them agreed for once on a single thing so a third person had to be asked.
I, at that time just knew one thing. that nothing extra , whether cloth or any other item is to be buried down with her. We  go down, sleep in peace and rest  only in whites pieces of clothes. No fancy garments to make us look good to the angels, no ornaments or precious jewels to give them as a bribe. It is simply ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
My grandmother understood this well. And if anyone is to be taken as my mentor on simplicity in family: It would be her first and foremost.  She always wore plain and simple dresses. She even offered prayer before passing away , though she was on bed and hardly breathing.  It was her consciousness of the situation.
And then, there are those people. May Allah reward them abundantly for their humble actions – who prepare for their journey to the final abode in their lifetime , they buy their kaffan with their own Halal money and never depend on others. My Uncle, May Allah give him long healthy life – bought his kafan long ago and declared he is to be buried , shrouded in the same piece of clothes when his time comes. Neither sadness nor despair, but just God fearing heart and consciousness.I had gone all teary over this. You can’t think of  ur beloved’s kafan  without feeling the pain and then when you  think of  your kafan – you get the goosebumps.
How many of us know the formalities of a janazah? and how many of us are concerned with our proper burial once we depart from this world? Shouldn’t be a Muslimah concerned with who will be the one to enter the grave and lower her body? Facebook – twitter – my space ! These are not our abodes that we worry about our graves here Or “thikaney” as we speak in Urdu. It’s just a momentary hot spot where nobody would care if your account is memorialized or not, nor they should be.
We may live here for years and years, even after while we are gone. Appearing once in a blue moon on the side bar among other faces. Whenever they will upload pictures on their accounts- face suggestion would be made and they may remember us in that brief moment and cherish the memory sometimes curse it . But  Other than that –   Nothing else would make them hold us clear and near.
Not on facebook. Never on Facebook! Never on a cyber grave.
But perhaps, If We leave behind some good words, Yes unless we leave behind some good notes,   few words of wisdom, and spiritual healing to be remembered by. Then perhaps we have a good chance to live in people’s good actions.


April 1, 2011

He is a Great Whisperer. Listen!

by Khanum

There are times when your heart is not at peace. Your whole daylight hours are spent worrying over some reasons. The reasons are unknown to the heart somehow but they sure vary from person to person. It can be anything at the pit of your heart , troubling your conscious. There are worries of financial nature, worries of how to pass this exam or that, Your worries on who will be your life partner, how will he or she be? Will you ever be able to get along with him, worries of a father trying to get his daughter married, worries of a family dealing with your studies expenses, your own worries concerning your ties with people related to you either by blood or by heart both, depressions over human tragedies, deciets, betrayals, long pauses and silence among friends, worries about your life , your career , your next comment on a heated discussion going on at someone’s status.

Momentary worries, All of these, and many more that I am not able to count. But Alas! No worries concerning your Akhirah in daytime at all. These kind of soul shuddering worries concerning to Akhirah usually overcome us at night. When we’re on bed, all set to sleep sound and proper and mentally counting down our victories of today and making a list of what to conquer tomorrow. There and then, Allah somehow lets a slow yet shivering thought slip into our preoccupied heads, He whispers, He warns . We think for awhile, shiver, say the Ayat ul Kursi and slip away to another world.

Dream. Dream. Dream

And the Next morning, its the same routine  all over again.

But Only, if you ever wake up again.

And He it is Who takes your souls at night (in sleep), and He knows what you acquire in the day, then He raises you up therein that an appointed term may be fulfilled; then to Him is your return, then He will inform you of what you were doing (Al-An’am 6:60).

‎‎Imagine your soul is taken away from your body the next time you’re asleep, not awake. What will you do? , What can you do ? Nothing…Nobody knows if tomorrow would be his time or tomorrow if  we’ll see our brothers and sisters . The lovely wife who takes care of you when you are home, husband who  is your reason to smile and shine, friends who are there to comfort and console to fight and get back to you at any cost, the next door neighbors , the baby you have given birth to, the person who you plan to be with in near future, your father, your cousin, or Your old and weak mother for whom you’re everything …Are you sure You”l be able to see them all the next day…? I am not sure.

I type this note, knowing there’s a chance  I may slip away to the next world while I’m asleep.  And ask yourself honestly, isn’t the thought  beyond any describe-able feeling? Do you want to die while you’re sleep tonite? Have you prepared well for the next stop? Ask yourself honestly. And let your conscious worry about it all. It is the only worry, the only depression in the entire Universe which shows you a way of light and doesn’t push you over into the pit of despair. Connect with Allah and you’ll realise while you served people tirelessly and yet they didn’t seem convinced, It only takes a moment to convince Allah of your loyality and He’s pleased.

I pray, I wish and I hope, from this day forward: Our day and night, our each hour if not each minute, is spent by remembering Allah swt. Ameen

“And the men and women who remember Allah frequently, Allah has prepared for them forgiveness and great reward.” – Al-Ahzab 33:35