Archive for September, 2012

September 23, 2012

A face of Love

by Khanum

When there was nothing mom, I saw your sweet face

You lifted me off the shore, to high  new embrace

I tried to learn learn learn , the language of this world

And oh, the damn principal said I failed

I hated school. Yet went for you

Some friends made me blue, yet went for you

I tried to fight fight fight , those battles of world

And oh ,  the damn judges said I failed

Look am new again .. cause I see your face

Look am strong again.. only Cause I see your face

Look, am trying trying trying again .. Cause I see your face

A face of love.


Please pray for my mother’s health and happiness. and no I didnt try to say any poem. I don’t know poetry.

September 22, 2012

Are you going to do something real and witty against THEM or just break your own legs here?

by Khanum

“Aram se bhaiii! watch out!”

“You watch out behan meri!! ”

“that’s my damn laptop ure tossing around like a toy! so you behave! and hey!!! get back here” , I shouted at him “where are you running?!”

“I gotta go out! its almost 3”,


“They said if you can’t go out for the participation in the protest then you must stand outside of ur gate to mark your presence at exact 3pm. — and why are you laughing now?”

“Nothing”, I looked at the clock. It was almost 3 , right! I watched him go out and stay out for long long hours. Clock hit 3:10. And I watched him marching back in.

“Kia hua, why back so quick?” I asked as sadly I was not in the position to step out of home and observe the protest and its thundering at the crossroads nearby myself or even my cousin and his sincere participation in the act at our very own threshold.

“Nothing. kafi jaloos hai. more than 1500 people crossed by. More to follow.”

“But why you are back so early? bas hogaya?!” I asked not that I was trying to mock or anything. Its just you do time to time come to question the strange acts we are told to observe in the name of showing solidarity with the nation against the enemies. no?

“Han bas. or kia karta main.” he fell silent. We heard our elders talking on how good the old days were when youth participated in milaad shareef and none of this happened and so on and on. Right! But those people out there they were not there following the footsteps of any 2 year old kid who has no interest in the religion which meant again they were just trying to make a point that oh the youth did this and that and the rest of the elderly people are innocent.

And I thought some parhe likhe people who were angry at the blasphemy act were out there to I don’t know , peacefully walk the streets and “peacefully” show solidarity on condemning the person? but what did I see? ? ? Anyway. My cousin’s bara mouth and my bara mouth of course had to give them company. Again I am not trying to mock the old people but again I come to ask them time to time , we don’t stop you to arrange such milaads still? why dont u arrange then?or hand us the money we’ll do so!

“Bakwas mat kero tum bachey ! bigar gaye ho! zaban chalate ho!”


“But this youtube ban is atleast nonsense. I need to download few things for thesis and –”

“Bohatt ACHA hua its banned! net ne fasad kia hua hai! You guys are just spoiled over net!”


Light came back and soon I guess their opinions were altered. Or I don’t know. Me and my cousins for one were blown away. more than 10, I guess were killed in the protests and more than 40 injured according to Geo news. I really wished they hadn’t done this black day. It doesn’t mean that our love for prophet is gone if we dont protest or something like that but combating the enemy the most hated enemy like the way we did today is very very weird. If I cursed ANdres Seraano in my last post for coming up with a bizarre photography, I feel no regret in equally condemning the senseless acts of some people out there who were shouting like barbarians and did nothing good to show to the world how we love our prophet? I heard lots of banks got the anger of the people. They broke down ATM machines. Took out money. People died. This happened that happened and not to forget the youtube ban that is still there. I mean what are we trying to achieve this way? I swear When I woke up this morning I had no clear idea as to why the day is off. I asked someone at home and I was looked upon as if I am some person who really don’t understand the delicacy of the situation at hand. Not mocking my family either but I feel sometimes there is so much confusion that people don’t realise hating the enemy raising your voice against him is one thing and that is okay! I am not settling with that loony director myself  but showing your anger this indecent way where you’re just not making sense and depicting a scene on streets from the movie planet of the apes? What can I say? I just wasnt expecting them to order an off day where I know most of us just watched movies. I for one honestly did nothing conrete and just wasted my time at home. Its not like they gave us one day off so we could become more holy. If it was the intention then I guess we failed.

My last post was on how ill mannered , hypocrite and so Godless those  few christians are and how few Jews manage to conspire against us and why we should not expect them to behave well. That was one side of the coin. Sadly, the other isnt too neat either. I supported those who are angered at this. I am still with you people. But please people, don;t embarrass me kindly? Don’t embarrass your Prophet? Is this the way we were supposed to go tackling…

stop being super sensitive, over smart and witless people. WE NEED CONCRETE LAWS not pointless self destructive PROTESTS for God’s sake! Its gonna happen again and again unless we stop behaving like crying babies and do something solid.  I don’t reckon Jews go protesting this way when someone raises a finger on their sentiments with the holocaust thing!

And I don’t even feel like speaking on it anymore cause What’s the point? I don’t understand why do we even bother blog about it or shout “RECOGNIZE YOUR ENEMY RECOGNIZE PROPER AND THEN GO AHEAD AND SHOOT!” I mean really what’s the bloody point of all the rage all over the internet , people pouring in giving their opinions , bloggers lashing out each other! , targetting, loathing condemning, bickering!  if all we ever gonna do is bloody protest this indecent way,  and break our own legs what’s the point of even saying I am a Muslim then? You don’t break enemy by burning down ur ownself , you break the enemy with wisdom and logic! Really disappointed in today’s protest proceedings! All the net bans n cellular service cut and killing each other not gonna help  muslims… learn to behave and recognise who ur enemy is. U cudnt even touch that loony director! LOOK! what u have done.

God, kindly Help us!
Forgive us for we dont know how to fight for our Religion’s honour the right way anymore. The love is there for You still but we have become idiots when it comes to battling.

September 16, 2012

Her Heavenly Abode… A letter to a friend far away

by Khanum

I googled my name just like that and it brought tears to my eyes….  I had written a piece for my beloved nano years ago and submitted it to Fountain magazine in Turkey, they published it after 2 years wait in line.

“They ask me over and over again Nano, why life does everything in its power to return to death? I say hush, silent…believe and pray. Death in itself is a desire to live young, forever and ever again!”

Miss you nano..

Click here to view digital copy.

September 9, 2012

September Sky

by Khanum

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September 7, 2012

A story Unpredictable – Of Pain with Love.

by Khanum


Why do we dream of them?


Why do we hope for them?

And damn, Peace.

Why do we so maddeningly seek for that? I wouldn’t know it all. Maybe or maybe not. Its all so unpredictable.

I woke up yesterday evening from a deep slumber, with a hole in my chest. An uneasy feeling that suffocated. It lingered on and on until I called up a friend online to keep me company so I could let it go. All in vain, I laughed for awhile n then it all began to crumble down once more. Knowing what caused it I tried to recall what had I been experiencing all the while I was gone from this world? What was it that I was dreaming.

It faded away. I couldn’t recall it proper it all faded away in a blink of an eye and I was left restless once again-  for the feeling that it left behind,  the pieces I repeatedly pick up, was as  painful as always and maddeningly something that I had grown accustomed to. And So there and then I finally came to realise and accept the unpredictable destiny for it all , That Dreams are of two kinds for me.The reality is of two dimensions . I have to get along with it somehow.

One that I seek.

One that seeks me.

Former is my wish.

Latter is His command.

And so the chase begins.

First stage, Pain. The pain’s a double fold when you find yourself in a maze, a puzzle, where you’re seeking a Dream, your dream of Him.  Surprisingly, He’s seeking you too, reaching out to you too but in a twisted way. He’s Haunting you. You’re striving back towards Him. He’s haunting You  more and more that you scream out to Him in extreme agony sometimes ,Why? but never do you easily come to meet at a point where the chase ends, or The pain stops or you reach That point,  that beloved , long long awaited last stage, always and always , so damn unpredictable.

And so it goes on. Dreams that we hunt. Dreams that haunt us.

Those damned hard days, while we are seeking the dreams we so much love, from somewhere, somehow, He sends us a jolt. Another dream comes back haunting us. Another hope comes down crashing it all . You are torn between the two dimensions once more. It’s the same equation all over again. Its always a story unpredictable.

And so it is, We never know what dreams may come true. What dreams may haunt us. And what dreams may leave us shattered. Nonetheless, we keep on burning … in pursuit of them, we keep on learning. And we surrender our souls upto them, cause by now, we have grown accustomed to it, to always stay ready to take the strange bullet of  tis sweet pain with love.

I am dedicating this post to a dear friend, Mahlaqa. Keep holding the Dream. No matter how twisted it may seem.

September 6, 2012

A story unpredictable

by Khanum

Okay so, this is going to be a — unpredictable post for you as well as for me. Cause I have no idea what the heck im going to mutter here and write down. I haven;t slept from past 24 hours or so — because im having a weird condition where the body wants to rest but mind is saying no. Insomnia perhaps anyways, I have to run for the day and face my professor for the final combat on research work, so before that I am here , with crazy thoughts , weird story in my head and the time is 8:30 in the morning. *Just for the record, I am not on drugs I assure you I just took a panadol which somehow made me restless and I always speak gibberish when im on flu drugs or bla blu medicine.*

Lets get done with the story time!


uh wait – m feeling sleepy now. ill take a nap of an hour before I leave for university and I’ll finish this post when I will b back. I’ll edit it. Promise.

please silently wait for me my unknown fauj of followers who enthusiastically followed me but don’t bother passing a comment! Oneday – someday , I will hunt you all down you Cyber Traitors!