Posts tagged ‘dreams’

September 22, 2013

I’ve a News. I’ve a NEWS !

by Khanum

Part I – Has it ever happened to you that you put on an old favorite song and it took you back to the time when you were actually introduced to it? It happens to me alot. I ain’t into music but the few collection of nasheed on my list have memories attached with them. Surprisingly, the one am listening right now took me back to the kind of feeling that I once got when I desperately wanted to visit a certain country , it’s specific city and all the amazing places around it. United kingdom. Though I have my uncle living there but a ticket to UK is amazingly expensive so I guess I am better at home, ogling at places surfing net and pretend like I don’t care.

Well I do care. For this amazing place  >>>  National Space Center – Sir Patrick Moore Planetarium  O_O I ‘m in awe of such places and one day ladies & gentlemen – Insha Allah, *when I grow up, since am a toddler* I aim to visit all the great planetariums of the world just cause the one we got here by PIA sucks. Trust me. I have even done a news report on that.

Iran has got a super dooper planetrium too I heard, so do all developed nations. That’s right. They are science friendly people and realize the importance of a spaceship to educate the elderly children.

Let’s check out another astounding picture of UK  I got my eyes on.

 MOUNT BLANC. 

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According to a website, this is actually the Observatory Gully on Ben Nevis in the Lochaber area of the Scottish Highlands. Standing at 1,344 metres (4,409 ft) above sea level, it’s the highest mountain in the UK. Waow!

This is obviously not the end of the world for me. England is not my top priority. I wish to visit many places, Egypt is one of them but most importantly, I long to go back to Saudia and Turkey to be very frank. I’ve got heart attached to it. And you know what my main fantasy is when I actually go anywhere? – FOOD!

Now moving on.

Part II – I started reading my emails just few mins ago and came across some old emails – kind of wordpress notifiations of posts that peopleliked earlier. Some dated almost a year back. One click led me to another and I ended up reading the posts the people liked. Oh my God, I realised how awesome I was at my blog.

Check out some posts urself.

My Perfect Lil stroll in the Morning.

Believe it or not I can actually Draw!

You’re as crack as me, Together we can open a mental Assylum!

Let’s go to Egypt. Not.

No Jokes please. No Jokes. Oh I really still crack at this one alot.

KhanumSays did entertain you people in every post, man! Damn. I miss that time when I actually had time to post. Must get that time back.

Part III – The news. I’m ill. Not too severe – but it’s bit worrying. As I’ll be at loss if I don’t recover soon. Anywho, I won’t go into details. But I must ask you guys, to treat me nice. Comment as much as much possible to pamper and adore khanum. And most importantly, Pray.  ^_^

May Allah be with ya all, now am off for breakfast. Toodles!

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September 7, 2012

A story Unpredictable – Of Pain with Love.

by Khanum

Dreams.

Why do we dream of them?

Goals.

Why do we hope for them?

And damn, Peace.

Why do we so maddeningly seek for that? I wouldn’t know it all. Maybe or maybe not. Its all so unpredictable.

I woke up yesterday evening from a deep slumber, with a hole in my chest. An uneasy feeling that suffocated. It lingered on and on until I called up a friend online to keep me company so I could let it go. All in vain, I laughed for awhile n then it all began to crumble down once more. Knowing what caused it I tried to recall what had I been experiencing all the while I was gone from this world? What was it that I was dreaming.

It faded away. I couldn’t recall it proper it all faded away in a blink of an eye and I was left restless once again-  for the feeling that it left behind,  the pieces I repeatedly pick up, was as  painful as always and maddeningly something that I had grown accustomed to. And So there and then I finally came to realise and accept the unpredictable destiny for it all , That Dreams are of two kinds for me.The reality is of two dimensions . I have to get along with it somehow.

One that I seek.

One that seeks me.

Former is my wish.

Latter is His command.

And so the chase begins.

First stage, Pain. The pain’s a double fold when you find yourself in a maze, a puzzle, where you’re seeking a Dream, your dream of Him.  Surprisingly, He’s seeking you too, reaching out to you too but in a twisted way. He’s Haunting you. You’re striving back towards Him. He’s haunting You  more and more that you scream out to Him in extreme agony sometimes ,Why? but never do you easily come to meet at a point where the chase ends, or The pain stops or you reach That point,  that beloved , long long awaited last stage, always and always , so damn unpredictable.

And so it goes on. Dreams that we hunt. Dreams that haunt us.

Those damned hard days, while we are seeking the dreams we so much love, from somewhere, somehow, He sends us a jolt. Another dream comes back haunting us. Another hope comes down crashing it all . You are torn between the two dimensions once more. It’s the same equation all over again. Its always a story unpredictable.

And so it is, We never know what dreams may come true. What dreams may haunt us. And what dreams may leave us shattered. Nonetheless, we keep on burning … in pursuit of them, we keep on learning. And we surrender our souls upto them, cause by now, we have grown accustomed to it, to always stay ready to take the strange bullet of  tis sweet pain with love.

I am dedicating this post to a dear friend, Mahlaqa. Keep holding the Dream. No matter how twisted it may seem.

March 7, 2011

On hopes & Dreams! It’s important to never let go because I don’t know a way to stop hoping for a better Tomorrow.

by Khanum

When I was a kid, about 8 or 9 years old. I had this crazy dream of marrying a british boy. I had a proper plan set. I would say to my mom and tell her, Look mama! If my uncle can marry a british woman and breed british children and have a perfect british life in a outlandish way, Why can’t I do the same and marry a a handsome charming young man in Britain. She would only laugh at me and so do the others. Then that dream grew louder and louder and I dreamt of going abroad. But for that I had to be fluent in English. Urdu was and Urdu is, still my mother tongue and would always be my comfortable speech in life. But for the british-romance-come-true  chore, I had to master the foreign language for having a happy-marriage in future and for my dream’s sake. And also , because I was given the impression that I can fly over to England with my uncle – if – and only  if  I was a beauty with brains.

Innocent and obsessed – I began to work hard on making myself ‘Master of English Lingua’. I would sit down and read a complicated English grammar book. Then, when it wouldn’t speak to me clearly or give me any easy way to learn it, I would throw it away and watch a English movie instead. The movie was more effective I must say. I would listen to the actors with my ears all sticked to the sounds. They uttered fast. Fast and alien-ish. As if conspiracing against me. But I wasn’t ready to give up. I had sworn to do it right.

One day, my mother caught me standing in front of a mirror – talking!

I froze the instant I realized her presence. This was me. Shy and in-confident. And that is why I was never able to practice my English with real time persons face to face. My dressing  mirror was the sole audience I had – which never pointed out any flaws.

Stage 2 of my obsession: lead me to keep a journal (I hate to call it a diary) of my English sentences. I would draw a ‘me’ in shalwar kameez. And then I would draw a ‘british person’ in — whatever it was , I don’t quite remember. But this much I know, the drawings weren’t useless. It was my comic style storyboard to practice English.

‘Hello”

And then the other would reply, ‘Hi, How are you” and stuff.

I can’t believe I used to do this, But I did. I would show the  journal to my family and pray in my heart that they see I’m trying hard, so pleaseeeeeee send me to England soon!

The Day never came.

And I grew Up.

My obsession with English ended. I didn’t dream of marrying a British boy anymore. In fact, I don’t even remember when that phase got over and I moved on with more high aims.

Sometimes it was buying a riding bicycle. Sometimes, a Computer , or the most horrifying aim (for my mother mainly) was becoming so fab in science so as to NASA would contact me itself and beg me to enter in NASA one day!  The point is , I moved on.

We all think, we all set targets. Sometimes we achieved them , if we don’t we simply move on. That’s life. That’s what matters.

But what does it teach ? Should we just give up on our dreams or should we improvise…. give them a slighlty different shape and make them more achievable? Because I don’t see a reason why, we should stop striving for a dream. I mean it’s understandable  I don’t feel the same enthusiasm about  my british romance dream today, as I used to feel. I don’t want it now. But what about other stuff i aimed for ? Targets I set in my life , a place where I wanna fly and experience new things. What about them? I have a wish to travel some place. You may have the same dream or something similar. What should we both do about it if it’s not given a chance to come true?

No, ….we should not give up. Because giving up on your honest dream is like proving to others that you are a nobody!  nothing but garbage. And hey! Stop doing that! You know you are something, because Allah, the Almighty God doesn’t make garbage.

On hopes and dreams I would never give up. So what If I applied to a Youth Exchange Program at a Palestinian University – hoping to fly there and help but I was stopped.  They said and I quote:

Dear Pervisha Khan,

Thank you for your email, I am afraid you can not pass the borders to Palestine as the Israeli occupation controls it, the borders are mostly open to the European and American passports holders, unfortunately,
Best regards
alaa

Depressing and annoying. But So what man! so what! On hopes and dreams…Its important to never let go. Because  I really don’t know a way to stop hoping for a better tomorrow.