Posts tagged ‘love’

January 5, 2014

My Friend’s Wedding at Cathedral Church of Resurrection, Lahore

by Khanum


December 28th, 2013 was a different day for me. At 11:am in the morning, my mother woke me up with a great good lecture.  I was  late for the church to attend my friend’s Marriage ceremony, so naturally I ran to washroom with the bullet speed.

And got out the same moment. With the bullet speed of course. There was no hot water to take bath with. Masha Allah!

Freezing, yelling, I managed to get fresh, put on my white dress, do quick make up and jump into heels which I literally hate wearing but have to for the sake of “Getting dressed well”.

The day was here. The big day When I was to witness a Christian wedding in a Church I had never seen before from the inside. Having no decent camera to shoot with, I counted big time on my cell.

The loyal battery died right on the spot.

My Muslim friend picked me up from my home around 1:30.  Heck! We were late. Reached Church at 2:am. Heck again! The bride was late. Ceremony started around 3:30. Heck LOL! Father of the Church was also late.

Dear Ladies & Gentlemen! That’s how Pakistanis wedding start  — regardless of their different religious affiliations.

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Everything was really new. And some moments were funny as hell. When father asked the Groom to show consent for the marriage whether he accepts the bride or not, The Groom bhai was totally confused and in that innocent confusion he babbled, “Kia kehna hai?” 😮

The bride couldn’t control her laughter at this point, neither could we all. They were after all, cousins. Not strangers.


These are the photos from the wedding, That I hope you all enjoy. I can’t upload all the pictures as they are private but these few glimpses are sure going to make you smile 🙂 I tried to capture the architectural marvels of the Church for you guys but it was bit hard with the camera that I had in hand. But You would be able to see the glass paint work in one of the pictures where they have painted Jesus a.s as per their imagination on a cross. 


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“You can kiss the bride now” , didn’t happen. On the bright side, I did end up catching the flower bouquet of the bride though, which you often see in Movies how the bride throws off her bouquet at the girls  to catch of course. Heck. I was more worried about getting injured instead.

It was Hilarious! Everyone shouted for me to catch it. For my mother it was more like a matter of life and death. “YOU HAVE TO CATCH IT, PERVISHA! You HAVE to!” … ah yes mom.



It was a beautiful day. Both looked great. I saw my shy friend getting married and even though only me and my other friend along with our moms were the only Muslims present there, There wasn’t any awkwardness in the environment. I realized, marriage no matter where it happens, is a touching ceremony in one’s life.

There was laughter, joy, love and anticipation for lunch.

Now I wanna attend the weddings of Jews, Parsi and Hindus. I want to see how things are done in their culture. Its a very informative experience.  Trust me.

September 23, 2012

A face of Love

by Khanum

When there was nothing mom, I saw your sweet face

You lifted me off the shore, to high  new embrace

I tried to learn learn learn , the language of this world

And oh, the damn principal said I failed

I hated school. Yet went for you

Some friends made me blue, yet went for you

I tried to fight fight fight , those battles of world

And oh ,  the damn judges said I failed

Look am new again .. cause I see your face

Look am strong again.. only Cause I see your face

Look, am trying trying trying again .. Cause I see your face

A face of love.


Please pray for my mother’s health and happiness. and no I didnt try to say any poem. I don’t know poetry.

September 16, 2012

Her Heavenly Abode… A letter to a friend far away

by Khanum

I googled my name just like that and it brought tears to my eyes….  I had written a piece for my beloved nano years ago and submitted it to Fountain magazine in Turkey, they published it after 2 years wait in line.

“They ask me over and over again Nano, why life does everything in its power to return to death? I say hush, silent…believe and pray. Death in itself is a desire to live young, forever and ever again!”

Miss you nano..

Click here to view digital copy.

September 7, 2012

A story Unpredictable – Of Pain with Love.

by Khanum


Why do we dream of them?


Why do we hope for them?

And damn, Peace.

Why do we so maddeningly seek for that? I wouldn’t know it all. Maybe or maybe not. Its all so unpredictable.

I woke up yesterday evening from a deep slumber, with a hole in my chest. An uneasy feeling that suffocated. It lingered on and on until I called up a friend online to keep me company so I could let it go. All in vain, I laughed for awhile n then it all began to crumble down once more. Knowing what caused it I tried to recall what had I been experiencing all the while I was gone from this world? What was it that I was dreaming.

It faded away. I couldn’t recall it proper it all faded away in a blink of an eye and I was left restless once again-  for the feeling that it left behind,  the pieces I repeatedly pick up, was as  painful as always and maddeningly something that I had grown accustomed to. And So there and then I finally came to realise and accept the unpredictable destiny for it all , That Dreams are of two kinds for me.The reality is of two dimensions . I have to get along with it somehow.

One that I seek.

One that seeks me.

Former is my wish.

Latter is His command.

And so the chase begins.

First stage, Pain. The pain’s a double fold when you find yourself in a maze, a puzzle, where you’re seeking a Dream, your dream of Him.  Surprisingly, He’s seeking you too, reaching out to you too but in a twisted way. He’s Haunting you. You’re striving back towards Him. He’s haunting You  more and more that you scream out to Him in extreme agony sometimes ,Why? but never do you easily come to meet at a point where the chase ends, or The pain stops or you reach That point,  that beloved , long long awaited last stage, always and always , so damn unpredictable.

And so it goes on. Dreams that we hunt. Dreams that haunt us.

Those damned hard days, while we are seeking the dreams we so much love, from somewhere, somehow, He sends us a jolt. Another dream comes back haunting us. Another hope comes down crashing it all . You are torn between the two dimensions once more. It’s the same equation all over again. Its always a story unpredictable.

And so it is, We never know what dreams may come true. What dreams may haunt us. And what dreams may leave us shattered. Nonetheless, we keep on burning … in pursuit of them, we keep on learning. And we surrender our souls upto them, cause by now, we have grown accustomed to it, to always stay ready to take the strange bullet of  tis sweet pain with love.

I am dedicating this post to a dear friend, Mahlaqa. Keep holding the Dream. No matter how twisted it may seem.

August 21, 2012

Yet more of Celestial Beauty… Eid Mubarak

by Khanum

Following are the shots of Moon during the month of Ramadan , captured time to time till the end of second ashra.

Ofcourse nothing can beat the moon sighting with a naked eye – but pictures taken with a natural hint of bokeh are perhaps I like the most. Last one being the favourite.

Eid Mubarak

June 24, 2012

Far better than you and me

by Khanum

This story is narrated to me by my respected teacher, Sir Omer.  He and I sometimes sit together when we happen to meet in Radio section of the department and share some pearls of wisdom. That day I asked him to say something that could be pleasing for the heart,  as I was so low on energy – so hopeless in this world where you please people day and night hoping Allah will like it but all goes to vain.. To all this, He narrated this instead. A story of a man  who looked after a dog and became far better than you and me.

It begins as..Once upon a time there was a man who needed help. Day and night he would seek someone , someone close to Allah Almighty who could help him out of his trouble, teach him some piety and be his mentor. One day someone guided him to a man and at last he found a person he could finally ask for some support. He went to that man with the intention of observing his manners and routine and and ask him to Pray on his behalf but what he sees, he doesn’t spend much time doing worship like many other saints. He didn’t even do anything extra ordinary act of piety all day long but more than 2 times a day he would visit a dog. A sick dog suffering from a severe disease that when u looked at it, you would tremble by the sight of his skin. It was a dog that no one would want to touch but this old pious man would visit the dog daily , feed him food and to utmost horror of the man observing him, the old man would give the dog a bath with his hands and nurse him.

Looking all of this, the observer got curious and asked the man why is it he wastes this much time on this dying sick dog and not spend that time on worship.  What kind of a pious man is he ? he wondered.He was seeking for a man who could pray on his behalf and let him have the things he wanted from Lord Almighty instead this so called pious devoted man of Allah was wasting time on befriending a dog ? it was so unlikely.

The old man understood the uneasiness prevailing in the heart of the observer. He told the man that I am also looking for my prayer to be heard like you. Like you come to me to seek support, I came across this dog and every time when I give him a bath, his itching skin gets better, the dog feels the mercy done by me and prays for me. You may not know , Stranger, that who could be your source of closeness to Allah. Just be merciful to His creation. He has many ways to test you and give you.


My family bagged all four kittens of our cat and sent them away to an unknown place while I was asleep. The cat has been crying for 2 days now. I had been avoiding meeting the gaze of my cat for the same 2 days cause I could not protect her babies… She has not been eating neither sleeping proper.  I bought my new cell today and was over joyed at it but the moment humanity inside me shrugged me stabbed me, I suddenly felt no joy on anything new around me. Who cares for the smartphone I have ? Allah cares? Will it buy me some hasanat ? Will it make my cat feel better, the animal who’s a victim at my home ? … I  feel like a  culprit..

No one at home bothered to realise this , but when today I finally had the courage to sit near her, look at her eyes, I noticed her grief. Is it funny ? I don’t see anything funny in it. Her eyes are no longer the happy healthy eyes………..  she mourns n mourns n mournsss and it haunts me!! it  haunts me….looking at her running from here and here seeking her drives me crazy , pounds my heart my head my soul my entire being. Had It been my mother at her place searching for me when I got lost as a kid, they would have understood the pain right, even you could have pictured the scene right ?

She has grown weak, thin so pale and so lonely. To all of this my family decided, she needs to be sent away where they left out her babies. Babies that are not to be found anywhere near that area. Now because my cat has gone insane with grief she has been making each room dirty. At this, they all shout and wish her to get out of  their sight their home.

Get out ? ..This is all ? First we snatch away babies now we throw her out while she’s so thin and bleeding?

When my neighbour gave sleeping pills to her to get rid of the cat , there were some humans in this world,  mostly from my family , the ones to pose humanity and protest against it. I am just  feeling numb and mad and heart broken at their lost humanity now… what happened to it.

What happened to it..?

If tomorrow they bag the cat heartlessly, the same cat they once felt happy about … then I don’t know if I’ll be able to forgive myself ever for not being the one to stop it.. and God knows, who else I won’t be forgiving at home for this.

Indeed That old man was far better .. far far better,  than you and me…

June 14, 2012


by Khanum

I: ‘Can I talk to you ?’ I asked when in seclusion with Him.

 I wanted to say… I wanna start over..

He smiled like He read my mind, like He knew I was gonna come to this point sooner or later

I: I.. I am really , lost.

I think He Went on smiling again. I found His eyes on me , not that of anger – not that of anguish, but of Someone’s who’s been watching over me since a long long time now despite of my follies and I was asking Him about a ‘start over’? I felt … silly

I: ..”I am hoping we can start over anew, No one would come between you and me. I – I won’t let anyone come..I won’t let u down again”,  My heart was going numb with an unknown feeling. Throbbing, burning, crying, yearning. “will you just, just once more love me? Love me the same ? Just love me?”

He didn’t speak, nor turned away from me

I grew more intense, more anxious and begging.  My head down , my eyes wet… He was really making me nervous now , I, hither and thither,  like a stubborn lover trying once more to win over this beautiful and perfect beloved, went dizzy. He was a sea, and I ..nothing ..and this aching pain – so hurting..

Not being able to bear His silence any longer, I went over board and threw myself in prostration before Him

“Look,..’ I begged for forgiveness , ‘I am looking to mend our relation.You can’t refuse me I know, its not What you do. I know I just know you won’t refuse me.'” I finally exploded for a relief for a solution. He kept being there  , watching me preserving silence, then cries – then again silence..and again cries. A pain had seized my soul for so long now that it longed for His mercy. And He knew it. He knew it alright what He and I had together, it was sweet and pure and nothing like it could ever exist.

 Regrets were beginning to bite on my heart. How could I be so consumed in something than Him.. I held myself in dismay , Had I lost him? No..this thought haunted me. Tormented. I begged – over and over again for something that could free me …

and then in that moment of remorse before my beloved, pain trickling down my face –  He made me look up at Him.

Rejoice!  all my sorrows vanquished ..

Rejoice! my Beloved had embraced me…

Rejoice! for the sweet love whispered to me..

Rejoice! .. “And He is the Forgiving and Loving”….. <Qur’an 85:14>