Posts tagged ‘problems’

October 25, 2011

How to : How to Be !

by Khanum

I googled ‘Happiness’  in search of happiness. It gave a number of good ‘salt-on-wounds’ quotations. After 2 minutes scrolling,  I found a trail of it somehow which led me to another and How I landed cleaning up my own room is today’s story for the blog !

How to find happiness. How to find Peace. And How to find that balanced medium where you are neither  fooled by anyone nor wronged. Most of all, where you are at peace with your own-self  and treatment of your surroundings.

1st  Step : The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. (Mark Twain)

It does not include , Crying , Wailing , Accusing , Creating a scene or worst of all Taking Revenge. Just hush up – Do sabr , and try to fight the sadness and evil bubbling inside your heart or gifted by others with good, good and nothing more than good.  However,The questions is, how you make others happy? Say Hello to:

2nd Step: 32 Ways To Make Someone Happy Today (by ZenHabits)

You pretty much forget your sorrows and  dedicate your life to social work. I like this idea. It keeps u busy all day that in the end you’re too tired to think about your problems. You ignore you pretend everything is okay.

About the tips by zen, I agree with most of the tips given here, BUt most of them are not applicable if your energy levels at heart are not upto it due to the sad context of your present state. For instance , the very first one.


My question is , How ?  Smiling is easy indeed but not when you’re feeling the opposite of it.  You can try faking it. And that’s not a smile. That’s ‘bullshitting’ oneself.

Now being a Muslim, it’ commonly known that we’re to recite alot of Quran and make dua and such. Personally , I do this too. Either worries of the study, friends issues or anything else, I start praying alot. Its like the prayer rug is your whole universe. You don’t want to get up from sitting in front of Allah and turn to the world which is nothing but remorse. This practice , alot of praying and putting your trust in Allah’s merciful Hands does miracles. You do actually feel better with the passage of time.

But they say, Being wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it. So even though you may heal up for the time being. If you continue to remember the wrong u did to someone or the wrong someone did to you – you’re back to the beginning of pathetic topia.

The googling didn’t work out for me much. I had plans for some social work but by the time those plans are turned into actions, I may be dead or over it. Who knows?

I shut the laptop down and cast a look at my room. And I knew What I had to do. I decided to re-arrange my things – clean up every mess and have a new room to begin with !!! This sure brought my mother alot of happiness.

The point is , The problems will always be there in your life. What matters is how to respond. If they never gona leave your side, you might just as well be friends with them. They will break you from with in trust me on that – but Listen! What matters is your reply. Just tell them , ‘ HEy! You might break me but you can’t break my Trust in Allah!! Show me what you’ve got!! Bring it On!’

Now back to the room. There lay a brush somewhere in the drawer …the men use for shaving foam. I have no idea how it made its way to my room. I picked it up and began to dust my study table.

I wasn’t feeling good upto this time but atleast I was busy in something. I cleaned those corners of my room which I had never seen before.  Found things in the utterly attic like drawers which I had lost long long ago.

I moved the study table aside and crept in the back to seriously clean. A big giant spider stared at me.

‘WHat are you doing here, Khanum ?’ It asked.. It bloody asked.

‘Just trying to clean…my room.”

‘I bloody live here Khanum.  You just come and go..’ And it was right.

It was right.  It really was right. I suddenly realised, this room was just a room for me , but for this creature , it was his whole world. Could I crush it to find myself the satisfaction of having a cleaned room ?

I immediately let that spider go and his web. It still is staring me from the corner of my study table I’m sure. My room is still a mess.

I haven’t found that feeling which would set me free. But atleast I have made that spider happy.

I don’t know what I’ll do next to find happiness that wouldn’t ask for a sacrifice in return.

Perhaps , try jumping from some building. Just for the rush you know ! If I succeed, you might get good snapshots.


May 21, 2011

A Boss That Seldom Smiles

by Khanum

Getting to know Turks.

Working with PakTurk.

Getting to know the feeling of Having a Boss (who also happens to be a Turk)

As if that’s not enough.

Planning to  meet more turks.

Happy with Turks.

Annoyed with Turks.

And that’s how my day starts and ends. “Turks Turks Turks”.


This note has already been typed and published in a dungeon called as  my brain. There, I have already  gone through each and every exhausting detail of my time today and relieved myself of my previusly felt temper. Now, it’s just a formality that  I type. In hope, that every boss and employee reads it.

“Is this okay sir?”

“yes, yes. Its good.”

“okay. I’ll be back.”

—– Few minutes later

“Here it is.”

“What is this , Miss Pervisha?”

“What is what , sir?”

“This… Miss Pervisha”

(Miss Pervisha confused)

“Its the design you approved, Sir”

“No no I don’t like this. this should be like that and that should be like this —”

Can somebody here  relate to it… !? 🙂  I know, That’s not the time when we no longer wish to be employed. People do have double minds. I sometimes suffers from lack of decision too. That’s fine that’s okay. Its a part of every job. But the problem starts,  when the boss declares a war upon you without a genuine reason. Uses an alien tone that you seriously don’t deserve. And that too, infront of others.

“DOn’t you then feel like using the same tone back?” …It’s really hurtful and I’m sorry to say to all the bossess out there: It’s unlike What our Prophet Muhammad Peace be upon him taught us.

Once there was a person who urinated in the Holy Masjid of Madina. Al the companions of Prophet Peace be upon him present there became angry and wanted to shout at him. Why wouldn’t they? He had urinated in the place where they postrated 5 times a day before Allah. He deserved to be shouted at. But what did our Prophet peace be upon him do?

He goes to the person, takes him to the side and with decorum and patience , tells him not to repeat such action.

How justified was his action and how wise , how humble. Had  the Prophet treated him with harsh words and insulting strategy, Who knows the person had come to that same place again and urinated just to get even.

If the person who ommitted such a mistake gets to be treated with kindness, why not a Muslim boss of today have the heart to be kind with his already hardworking  and loyal people?

Allah knows best, why people interact in such manner. I have never understood this alien reason. To have a boss who seldom smiles. Seldom appreciates may not be a reason to quit on doing hardwork but what’s criminal here is the fact that He even forgets the little appreciation you had earned earlier.

Lets flip to the other side!

4 years back I found myself in a trouble with one of my teachers. I had every ounce of belief that I am not liked by her. No matter what I did, I always received a cold tone. Quit on her, that was my only plan. But before that I tried my luck with her once more, that too upon the insist from my uncle.

he had convinced me that its not her , its You Pervisha That’s not paying her attention.

Confused and frustrated, I had protested upon this absurd accusation. How come I am not paying attention , han? I sit at the front. I perform well in the papers. I never miss her class, yet she’s not pleased with me. What the heck is wrong !!!!!!! Why does she never smile?

He was right. I was not paying her attention.

The next day, I started from the scratch. Always on time – sometimes late too but always sat at front. Okay, sometimes became a back bencher too but onething I never forgot to practice with her. I looked in her eyes always and just smiled.

1 day, one week, one month and within a semester of 6 months , I felt she began to smile back.

That’s called paying attention. I had asked myself, who knows what problem she faces at home or what troubles she goes through before reaching you people at University.You cannot expect somebody to be kind and justified with you all the time. But again, it is also a part of our deen to be humble with eachother and not be harsh. As we all our fighting our wars each day. So, its upto us. Which side we wants to be on… Prophet’s or Satan’s. Hopeful or Hurtful.

Its very important to choose well, otherwise the same sad and pathetic cycle of hurt keeps circulating and rortating itself  Your boss shouts at you, you come home looking grim and starts shouting at your family because you got shouted at, then the next thing you know , your family starts shouting at neighbours because you put them in the grim mood in the first place which was done by your Boss in reality when he shouted at you! Allah hu Akbar! Be reasonable.

I pray , Allah softens up the heart of every boss to acknowledge the efforts of his workers, may His problems get solved soon  so that he stops making the staff unhappy . And May Allah gives all the staff members the heart to be loyal and understanding with their head. No doubt, every man has a great side to him. His great side is the God fearing Heart, that senses the hurt done to other people.

Now for the laugh: A day back in administration meeting, I was doodling on my journal while peeking at my boss’s monitor screen now and then. “In Tolerance, be like the sea.” ‘Rumi’ He was typing…

I thought it was a cool line.  I hurriedly noted it down on my journal. Only an hour later I realised I had made a big blunder.”In Tolerance, Be like the Tea” .

Now that I think about it. this version may also get passed as a classic  quotation of the year.