Posts tagged ‘thoughts’

January 3, 2014

Green Tea Analogy.

by Khanum

greenteaI’ve a habit of reading newspaper in the kitchen either in the early morning or the evening. There, sitting by the fire alone with a cup of tea it all becomes bearable to go through all the cruel events in the paper and life in general. But today, before I could enter it first, I found my mother busy making green tea there already. The Kashmiri Sabz chai you know.

I couldn’t help but stare.

Her each step towards its making was so captivating that soon I found myself drawn towards the process rather than the editorial. I noticed her getting tired at the continuous whisking and whipping the hot tea while slowly adding in the cold water to complete the procedure.

Why don’t you rest your hand,  take a break now? I suggested.

I can’t. She mean’t it.

That green-tea. I have to keep working at it at a constant rate for fruitful result otherwise! One moment of ghafalah and there goes my tea..

Right..

A voice inside my head that teaches us time to time , then began to work out a lesson.

How beautifully Allah has scattered the analogies for us to learn, in life, about life. I wondered.To learn and get back up on feet. To observe and get back to the origins, the very core of the life problems, and fix it through same daily life empirical thinking.

I saw the pink foam, welling up in the pot as my mother whisked the tea with persistent sincerity. The more you whisk it they say, the more it gets refined and this beautiful pink shade begins to appear in the foam– a sign of perfect taste.

It was working. An outcome of her constant & sincere striving.

She smiled. I smiled back at her. The newspaper that I had been reading earlier, now lay folded in my lap. I began to stare back at it.

Life is like that, Mum. I spoke my mind after several long moments.She nodded. Life is exactly like that.

Photograph taken from flickr.

November 15, 2013

The Problem with the world is “Me”

by Khanum

I don’t know where to begin where to end. After long moments of Joy — comes silence. Then hits Remorse. Grief. And finally nothingness before a new beginning. It’s still the same. The cycle is same for me. I feel my heart sinking.

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This morning I woke up with a frenzy. A madness to visit Paris. Am all excited for the trip but then I don’t know, Like it’s God’s way of balancing the things by creating chemical imbalances in our emotions. My excitement is squeezed down to shame all cause I saw one picture — this picture of a small boy getting beatings from the cruel men. And I am left sulking in my corner – by the lamp shadows — feeling guilty for the crimes of others. Can we enjoy ourselves, go our ways and spend money on extravagant trips when there’s so much more productive work we can do, help we can offer to those deprived? I know the world has its order , poor — rich! All created by God in design but I don’t know. I’m feeling guilty for the crimes of others. As if I’ll be judged and questioned, where and why was I partying when the other half of the world was dying.

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November 13, 2013

The City of Love.

by Khanum

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Sometimes I think about Paris … and wonder why do people think about it at all.

October 11, 2011

When it hurts , it hurts! When it stops, it’s a blessing!

by Khanum

I am thinking about the guy who is sitting, somewhere on the dirt. His one hand holding the poisonous needle, ready to insert it into his system. I see him struggling, as his hand trembles.  No matter how hard his mind is telling him to do it just go for it and end this aching pain. His heart is telling him the otherwise.

I’m thinking about him.  Alone. Lost and completey unaware that someone’s watching over him.

I’m remicinsing about the girl I see everyday on Facebook.  She’s wails on her wall everyday. Each day with the heightened ache. Sometimes her picture says Where are you? You left me….sometimes its nothing but a woman cutting her wrists.

I think about her. Shattered, betrayed, lost  and completely unaware that someone’s watching over her.

How far we are from reaching the truth sometimes i wonder and how naive we are. There are wrong ways wrong  things we know will hurt us if we go on with them but we don’t stop. We dwell more into darkness.

The guy who is addicted to drugs and knows this sweet addiction just kills him , destroys him bit by bit each day , can’t find the courage to let it go…

The girl who is left alone by her lover knows she has been played, waiting after him wouldn’t fix her heart the whole , but can’t find the strength to move on… I see everyone and I see it everyday. I feel the hurt as my own I feel it strong , scaring me as I grow old with my own problems in life but you know what’s more scarier and troublesome ? The thought that I can’t find the way to help them all.

What can anyone do for anyone ? What can we possibly do when we ourselves are fighting our wars each day from dawn till dusk.  Maybe someone’s watching over us too? Someone who is free from all these infliction…free of all the biased behavior. Someone who doesn’t charge 100$ an hour to listen to our problems. Someone who doesn’t hang up the phone when we stop just in the middle of our sentence , thinking how to go on. Someone who is constanly just there somehow , not pretending  not playing not even  afraid to be seen with us.

Someone who is always , and always watching over me…

That Someone I know as …God. I promise him each day I’ll be good this time. he fixes everything up and I find myself making another mistake. Could it be my human nature? i don’t know.

He helps me forgive my own errors, then he helps me forgive others. And now I know, the least I can do for Him in return  and His other beloved ones is that – I can take care of my own Heart from getting hurt, my tongue from hurting others and my own conscious from failing His trust.  It’s the least we can do for the guy and the girl I mentioned. We can learn to take better care of our own actions.

The least and perhaps the most we can do for everyone is that we watch ourselves better when we can’t watch over others…   Be good. Be a good member of this world. The rest of the virtue , the rest of the blessings will automatically follow.

 

September 19, 2011

My Perfect little stroll in the morning :s

by Khanum

5:30 am in the morning. I step out of my room stretching –  it’s time for a morning stroll.  The fajr prayer is long being prayed , sleep is no where near my eyes. A walk seemed like a pretty good idea.

Gladly I walk by the rooms. I can hear some bears snoring in the background. That, of course, is my Uncle from the zoo.  I’m in the middle of the way, not quite there in the pretty little courytard that I begin to plan what I’m going to do in the next few minutes.

“This and this and that…and that too. And Oh I have to oil my Rapunzel hair first”, A train of thoughts start running my brain. But By the moment I’m there, I’m already changing my mind to run back to my room and grab the bloody camera.

I stood in the little lawn mesmerized by the serenity of the scene. Cool breeze, grey sky, the birds chirping in the background. The Tip-Tip the tap-tap music of the water playing in proximity. Probably some tap leakage. .But  oh Boy! What an awesome Morning!

Habitually I looked up at the sky to search fr the white ball of Moon. Thanks to the Heavens, it was there. Dim , covered under the blanket of grey clouds but it was there. It looked like someone had taken a half bite out of it.  But it looked perfect enough to shoot. I quickly realized,   the idea of oiling my hair at this hour was utterly ridiculous . The absurdity of it! I ran back to my room immediately  only to find my camera out of battery.

The desperation of the hour, how can I ever explain it? It seemed like as if I looked for the food and not for the new battery.I ran frantically from point A to point B in my small square room – only to reach point C for nothing. The hilarity , I could not even  find the battery charger.

I glanced at the clock. It lolled 5:40 at me. O teri! I slipped here and there again.It could not get any more worse, I just knew.

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I find the charger atlast. Finally give 2 minutes life to the battery. Put on a big smile , yay-ing and cheering all the way  back to the courtyard, hoping to do awesome moon photography.

But I find nothing there , except a pair of birds, apparently smooching.

Long gone the moon, long gone the winds. I finally decide to oil my hair. What a perfect little stroll in the morning!

May 27, 2011

Awards Night! Awards Delight!

by Khanum

Nadia Masood on Best Travel Musings 🙂

and one more award on Cutest Omani Bakri post Ever!

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Next Award For Tien 🙂 Your Blog is infotainment package!!! I award You :

AND One more Star:

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Smiley Sparklings 🙂 I love the way you write! I award You with :

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The Special Award of Tonight,  is to a dear and Talented Blogger upon his tremendous Blogging Idea! Dear Mezba, Accept this award. 🙂

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The Last Two awards of the night but not the least go to , The Verbal Fiend 

and D.. upon their nice blogging post every Time. You  have blogs with substance and I’m glad to be in touch with You.

Have  a Blessed Day , all of You and keep blogging good. 🙂 Delighted and honored to be with such women on wordpress.

May 9, 2011

The Soundbox

by Khanum

In the Name of Allah the Most Merciful and my Ever Living source of Light.

“I was trying to communicate with my mother with my hand gestures and sign language. She was having difficulty understanding the things I said as usual, so she told me to stop and wait for awhile till we were back at home.

I could not help but sit silently.

I had no balance in my cell which meant I couldn’t even text her and describe what I wanted.

“Excuse me” A voice so supple said to me. I looked up and asked….with my eyes. “Yes?”

“Can I sit with you?.”

I said.”Yes” with my eyes again.

I moved a bit on the side to give the woman some space to be seated.

Few minutes passed and I realized not only the woman I gave the seat to, rather all the women in the waiting lounge had their eyes on me and my hand gestures. I should have become used to it by now but still it made me a bit uncomfortable. Such pity there was in their eyes, I could easily read it but do nothing except pass a faint smile.

By the time the clock ticked out more few minutes,  My mother and i were back to our former discussion over my day activities and I once again tried to explain to her the words I could not mouth.

“I got back from work around 3 today. And you were asleep” I did some hand actions. “So after having lunch I also went to bed.”

“Okay okay…but you have to take a leave for tomorrow.”

“No. i can’t” I said back. And thanked God she was getting what I meant.

There was kindness in my mother’s eyes over the things i was telling her by signs. And I could understand that pity but what i did not get was the reaction of other women  – staring at me and saying – tsk tsk.

Khair, my deaf and dumb routine continued. and when the woman next to me no longer could take it, she finally passed her condolences to my mother – over my condition.

She thought I was deaf and dumb.

Mum thought it was hilarious.

And I think, I have been really a laughing stock over the past few days for everyone around me, yet it wasn’t bad enough.

‘Temporary Voice Loss’ was all that i was sufering from. I had been wearing ‘Cannot speak’ tag at my work place. Yes, people did pass a laugh or two over it but gradually everyone around me became to somehow learn a lesson from this ‘temporary loss’ of mine and bring me comfort. For a start, they paid more attention to my silence. For a change, even i PAID more attention to my own silence. I remember a  senior colleague passing a comment, ‘Miss pervisha aj bohat sukoon mai lag rahi hain’.

Then , secondly, as i wasn’t speaking at all, colleagues at work didnt come to me for gossip.

Heaven!!! I was saved from evil talk. El hamdulillah.

Thirdly, the absence of voice from natural sounbox …really gave a whole new perspective on  its proper usage. SubhanAllah! El Hamdulillah! Allahu Akbar.

Few days back, Nisaar.Y.Nadiadwala , An Islamic scholar ,  was not well. He excused himself from the facebook for awhile and when he returned, we were rewarded with a thoughtful note from his side. His musings were of excellent quality. Musings on life and the blessing of health after sickness.

My sickness may not be of that major type to inspire me with such great thoughts from within. Seriously… It was just a vocal cords infectiion, nothing to dance  about. And I would have regained health just like that without realising why I got sick in the first place – But you know Allah…He has His ways of showing us where we are and where in reality, He wants us to be.

el hamdulillah, I did get to see a brighter side,  a lesson from this illness. And this is what He wanted me to see.

I regained my voice yesterday evening , it was really something like a celebration for my mother. She missed hearing my voice aftr all. I missed my very personal soundbox too. Let’s  hope I don’t loose it again. Amen!